


when two become one (i can feel it)

by michaelsgang



Series: it was all I lived for, to play baseball [1]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Hockey Players, Danny’s still in college, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Sean plays for the Red Sox, There is a vague mid 2000’s vibe but they’re still the sameish age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 18:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18900667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michaelsgang/pseuds/michaelsgang
Summary: For the first time since he’s moved up from minors, Sean’s nervous before the game. His leg is bouncing the whole car ride, even with Danny resting a warm hand around his knee. He probably spends five minutes staring at Danny’s bare left hand, his heart in his throat.





	when two become one (i can feel it)

**Author's Note:**

> Absolutely could not resist writing this. One day I’m going to stop writing AU’s and write some real hockey things that can happen. 
> 
> Unbeta’d because I live life on the edge. Thanks for taking your time to read a 4K long fic about Sean freaking out, and adoring his boyfriend

Sean can’t wipe the grin off his face.   
  
“If you keep frowning, you’ll get wrinkles, honey.” He sing songs as Danny marches over to him, a scowl placed firmly on his face. He doesn’t offer a reply and instead roughly tosses his worn duffle bag across the hood of the car. Sean’s heart might explode with the fondness he’s feeling.   
  
“C’mon babe,” he teases, even as his boyfriend sends him the finger before dropping into the backseat of the car. The driver watches amusedly.   
  
The car ride is silent save for the shiny radio detailing the weather for the week. Sunny and clear skies will preside over Boston for the weekend that Danny’s here. But whether it’s sun or sleet, Sean’s grateful for the visit from his boyfriend. Long distance is no joke, even if the two of them are managing well. Besides, it’ll only be a short while before Danny’s packing his bags for Bean Town after graduation. Sean has tried signing some balls for a few partners during games and name dropped more times in a conversation than not, despite Danny’s reluctance.   
  
He knocks his elbow gently with Danny’s. Lucky for him, the boy huffs but doesn’t move away. Sean counts that as a W.   
  
“You look nice.”   
  
Danny offers only a squinted glance before turning back to the open window. He’s not too afraid of his driver hearing much of their conversation when the sunroof and windows dropped open.   
  
“I got a haircut.” His hair is just a fraction shorter now, but it still makes him almost miss the way he used to tug on it. But there’s still some of that blonde flopping over his forehead. Those baby blues still shine bright in the early afternoon sun. Sean meant it; Danny’s looking more solid since their last meet. He was dropping weight in the grad school, all nervous and wound up.   
  
“Hey, c’mon relax.” Despite his teasing, Sean’s cautious. Gingerly, he caresses his boyfriend’s shoulder and is happily met with him finally easing up. He lets Sean shift closer in the backseat, a hand slowly slipping down to hold his own. God, he’s missed this. Just another few months.   
  
Danny lifts the corner of his lip. “I missed you.” It’s quiet compared to the wind roaring in, but Sean can read it in his eyes; he can read it in his firm hold and in his smile. His right hand shakes, anxiously waiting for the perfect moment.     
  
“I missed you too.”   
  


  
The Sox’s front office wasted no time after he signed his big five year deal. There was a little party at a bar last weekend, and the team took turns taking him out to dinners, then made him pay for it with a wicked grin. Jakey and Wags were absolutely losing their minds after he slyly mentioned his plans for settling down. He knows the times are slowly changing, but it’s a move for the better and Sean doesn’t want to wait any longer.   
  
“So who’s the lucky lady?” Jake was so happy for him, that he didn’t want to ruin the moment. It hurt, later when Sean sat on his couch, fiddling with the ring. He just wants the world to know he’s in love, how he’s filled with it from every corner of his body. Danny deserves that, he deserves to be shown off and worshiped like some of the other guy’s wives.   
  


  
Danny whistles. “Check out the entertainment.” The condo is right in the middle of Boston, with shiny and tall buildings surrounding every corner. The water can be seen from his floor to ceiling windows. Sean can’t help the grin, as he notices how better the place looks with the love of his life in it   
  
“Yeah well that’s what a pro ball salary can get you.”   
  
“Remember that the next time you make me get the bill for dinner.” Danny scoffs. He moves to explore the rest of the apartment, despite having already been here when Sean officially moved in. He couldn’t be here for the house warming, but Sean’s learned to appreciate the moments that Danny is here, more than worry for the ones he’s not.   
  
They stop in the bedroom so Danny could shower and change. Sean should be taking a nap before the game this afternoon, but he’s stuck sitting at the edge of the bed, staring at Danny’s discarded clothes. It’s been two months since they’ve last seen each other, since he’s last had the touch of his boyfriend. They’re working out the long distance everyday, putting their effort for the grand payoff.

“Quick staring, I might apprehend you.” He’s walking around buck ass naked, grinning mercilessly as he does so. His heart stirs more than anything else. Simple and plain adoration for this man. Sure, they’re both young and he’s making too much money for their age, but that’s how they’ve been gifted.

Sean shoves his wrist out with a lazy grin.   
  
“Then arrest me, officer.”   
  
  
  
Sean finds the ring about two weeks back, boredly browsing the racks at a store. Pasta wants to get something for his girl for her birthday coming up, so him, Sean, and two other minor leaguers that they mutually know have moved to the malls to find a gift.   
  
Danny’s not a jewelry person, and even if he was, Sean’s sure he wouldn’t care about the engagement ring. It’s more symbolic than anything else; the ring still catches his eye. It’s definitely not engagement ring worthy, not by any standards.   
  
Then again, when have either of them met the standard?   
  
So he grabs it and compares it to any other ring he can find in the store. It’s a small thing, just a copper colored band, not too thick or thin. “ Hammered _”_ the package says. It costs him nearly two hundred bucks and the clerk tells him that his girlfriend can match it with anything. Without thinking, he stops by a jewelers on the way home to buy a navy blue velvet box. Sean locks it in the safe at the bottom of his walk in closet and doesn’t dare bring it out if he knows he’s going to Skype Danny.   
  
He was afraid of it, and had no clue what spurred him to buy it. Maybe it was the signing, because it was a big commitment, and maybe he was feeling particularly responsible. Or maybe it was because Danny called the night before, reminding him about taking his vitamins and called out his shitty pitch in the third inning.   
  
“Should I get married?” Sean asks the woman taking the elevator with him. She lives down the hall from him, and asked him to take a picture with her daughter once. She raises a perfect brow.   
  
“Only if she knows how to cook. My husband and I haven’t eaten a real meal in five years.” Sean takes that as a sign from God Himself because later that night, Danny texted him a picture of his more than impressive dinner. That he made past midnight.

The principle still stands.

  
  
  
Sean decides that if they win that night, he’ll propose. He figures that he can’t back out of a deal, even with himself, so he won’t have to keep chickening out. He reminds himself that he wants to at least propose in person, and he doesn’t know when is the next chance he’ll get before Danny’s flying back at the end of the weekend.   
  
For the first time since he’s moved up from minors, Sean’s nervous before the game. His leg is bouncing the whole car ride, even with Danny resting a warm hand around his knee. He probably spends five minutes staring at Danny’s bare left hand, his heart in his throat.   
  
There’s a tiny, minuscule part of him that wants to disappear, force the game in the other less experienced rookie’s hands to lose for him. What if Danny doesn’t want to marry him? What if Danny’s just waiting for the right moment to leave Sean? What if they’re moving too fast, he panics for a moment. People don’t get engaged unless they’ve been together for quite the long time. They’re approaching their second year anniversary, but maybe Danny hadn’t even thought about the prospect of marriage.   
  
Or, the prospect of marriage with  _ Sean _ .

“Watch your shoulder alright? The front office won’t be too happy if you pull that again. Good luck,” Danny presses a light kiss to the corner of his lip. They’re in stuck in the bathroom just around the corner of the suites, hidden from prying eyes and peeping cameras. Keeping their relationship hidden from media bothered him just a bit. They’re out to the people who matter most, so he’s not too bitter about having to kiss his boyfriend in the fancy bathroom before warmups.   
  
“That means you get to wear your Jays jersey again, though.” He winks, his nerves washing away as Danny rolls his eyes with the fondest of smiles. The punch to his arm is too soft to make a scene about, but they’re both searching for something dramatic and playful to ease those pregame jitters.   
  
He gives Danny a real and proper kiss, hoping his pounding heart couldn’t be heard. It isn’t, but Danny’s teasing him about his blush soon after.   
  
It takes nearly eleven innings but Bergy hits a dinger and Sean nearly cries tears of joy. He wants to propose, but like, he’d like to skip this whole stress and jump to where they actually get married. That would be nice.   
  
“Your form is horrendous.” Danny doesn’t even let him take a breath before rapping his knuckles across Sean’s abdomen. It sends his stomach singing, all twisting and jumping because of a small touch. His chest tightens; he’s so freaking in love. Danny’s got his whole world on tilt, ever since they worked on that stupid econ project freshman year. It’s like he can’t think straight when the boy is near, but he’s completely lost when he’s not.   
  
It would be embarrassing if Sean wasn’t like head over heels in love.   
  
“You love this form.” Sean hip checks him, the two of them giggling as they walk down the empty hall. All of the players are gone, and staff probably already in the parking lot. Moments like these make him want to stop everything and just stay with Danny. As they step out into the parking lot, the sun is almost faded and the late afternoon breeze tosses Danny’s blonde hair around. He’s recently taken to using gel, something about professionalism, but Sean likes the way he can run his fingers freely through his natural hair. Danny’s squinting at him, the edge of a smile at the corners of his lips. It’s breathtaking.   
  
“Hey,” he reaches out to grab Danny’s bicep, causing them to stop. Sean’s heart jumps to his throat.   
  
“Wanna go for a drive? There’s something I wanna show you.” And Danny doesn’t argue like he thinks he would, but nods slowly with the picture of content on his face.   
  


  
Marchy mentions how his wife loves walking along the waterfront, as the sun is setting and everything is just a little quiet and romantic. Some of the guys thought it was cheesy, but Sean’s never half assed anything.   
  
“So like when should I go?” Marchy steps back in the batting cages, nose crinkled. Sean takes the moment to wipe the sweat off his face, his arms singing with the effort.   
  
It takes the man a second. “We went after a afternoon game once. I got the best head of my life, man.” He laughs deeply, but there’s fondness there. Fondness in the way he stares up at the ceiling with an open mouth smiled. Marchy doesn’t wear his ring during practice, no one does because it’s not safe, but like Sean can imagine that he would stare down at his ring, smiling.   
  


  
The windows are rolled all the way down and Danny made him open the sunroof so he could stick his head out. They’re taking the long way there, taking local roads that twist and turn around the city of Boston. 

Sean can barely keep his eyes off of him.

“Damn look at that.” Danny drops back into his seat, dropping back to earth from heaven like an angel with his cheeks flushed and hair wild. He’s not careful when he yanks the ratty Sox hat from the back seat and shoves it over his head.   
  
Sean is already staring at the pink and orange and yellow sky, with big fluffy clouds hiding the gorgeous sun on its descent. But he glances over at his boyfriend, his heart pounding along to the song on the radio. Danny looks like the picture of his heaven, like the one damn thing he could have ever asked for.   
  
“A fucking beaut.” He supplies and looks away before he could get caught. Sean might crash the car if he doesn’t stop looking.   
  
By the time they arrive to the park, the sun has dipped lower, painting the sky with a thin streak of navy, splatters of white dots twinkling within it.

It’s the second most beautiful thing Sean’s ever seen.

They walk with their hands locked because no one’s out and watching. They spend probably ten minutes ranting and raving about each inning. It’s fun as hell, especially because it’s a post game routine and it’s nicer with Danny here in real life, with his smiles clearer and his comments laced with laughter. If there were people around, the two of them would certainly be making a scene.

That’s when he sees it: the ferry dock, jutting out into the water, barely locked. It takes like another five minutes convincing his good Canadian boyfriend to climb the three foot gate, but Sean eventually gets him. He always seems to.   
  
“This is pretty romantic Kuraly.” Danny bumps their shoulders together, the two of them sitting on the edge of the dock, feeding dangling over the dark water. His hand is sweaty in Danny’s hold.   
  
“Yeah I bet you’ve dreamt of this moment.” His right hand clenched around the box keeps him grounded. Sean barely hears Danny’s remark as he takes a deep breath. He can do this, like he and Danny are normally on the same page about most things. He wouldn’t be so obsessed with the idea if he didn’t think Danny would go along with it. And if he’s not ready than Sean can wait. Hell, they’re less than twenty five years old, they have their whole lives to get married.   
  
He can’t stop staring at his empty left hand and feeling something  _ missing _ .   
  
“Dan, I know that our relationship is tough with the distance, but I think,” he stops, his heart beating so fast behind his rib cage that he could barely breathe, let alone  _ think _ . He’s staring straight ahead at the water, but he can feel Danny staring at him. It’s now or never.   
  
“You’re the best, Danny, you know that?” He glances over, the lump in his throat is making it difficult to get the words out. Maybe he should have rehearsed this, because he feels underprepared. But everything seems to fade away when he looks at Danny’s shining blue eyes.   
  
“I love you and I think- I want to marry you.” There Sean did it. After weeks of thinking and waiting and planning, Sean’s finally freaking asked him. The roar of his blood fills his ears as he smiles gently at Danny.   
  
Except, Danny’s mouth is dropping open and he doesn’t exactly look happy. Wait what.   
  
“You want to marry me? Like  _ marriage _ ?” The shock is written on his face, to pure and genuine that it sends his mind reeling. His heart keeps sinking and sinking.   
  
“I– yeah?” It’s like Sean’s been thrown back to high school, stumbling over his own weight and struggling to keep up with the rest of the world. Everything is slow and sluggish as he tries to catch up. He doesn’t feel anything, no sadness or joy, just pure fucking numb because the love of his life doesn’t love him enough to get married. Sean’s always too early and always too late.   
  
“I’m not even out of the college.” Danny’s grip is loose; Sean tugs his hand out gently. It’s earth shattering, the perfect moment that Sean imagined has been destroyed by his shit luck. Maybe he should’ve bet that he would propose if they lost; there was too much luck going into playing a higher seed team and winning.   
  
“It’s fine if you’re not ready.” He mumbles, the words tasting like acid and that really shitty protein shake Grz swears by. Or maybe it’s vomit. Sean really wouldn’t mind just vomiting and falling straight down into the water. At least in the water he doesn’t have to deal with the guilt laced look that Danny gives him.   
  
“Sean I–”   
  
“It’s ok, Danny. I get it.” How the fuck do they go from here? Do they keep dating? Or worse, break up? Sean bites his bottom lip, willing himself to not fucking cry right here. But there’s nothing left, nothing left to salvage this. Sean’s gone and fucked up the one good thing in his life.   
  
Danny stares. “Ok,” he mumbles. Sean nods and the two of the wordlessly stand up. The walk back isn’t awkward, Sean supposes in cheap victory. It’s real silent, he’ll tell you that. He keeps a foot of space between them, his hands shoved deep in his pocket to stop them from shaking. The box weighs about ten pounds at the moment.   
  
He keeps looking at him, like the whole ride home. Danny just stares, sometimes there’s a flash of something on his face or he’s squinting and it’s all too much. Sadness and anger swirl around in his gut like some kind of twisted margarita.   
  
“Danny it’s fine. We can wait or something.” Maybe he just doesn’t want to get married at all. Sean never really thought about that. He just assumed that Danny either wanted to marry him or didn’t want to marry him. Danny was raised Catholic though, so Sean doesn’t think that the oh holy sacrament of marriage was off the table for him.   
  
The man doesn’t reply, but he does stop glancing over. The radio hums to fill the thick silence but Sean can’t hear over the rush of his own blood.   


 

  
“I’m uh thinking about getting married.” Sean hasn’t talked to his dad in maybe two years, not since he left Columbus. Not that it matters much to him.   
  
The line remains silent save for the sound of his dad’s breathing and the static buzzing. “She nice?” Everyone assumed he was dating a woman, and if they didn’t know he was in a relationship, they had asked for her name. For the first time since telling everyone, Sean feels angry.   
  
“Yeah, the best. Not that you’ve met or anything.” His dad has met Danny thirty different times while the two of them were in college. But not a big fucking deal if Kuraly’s only son decides to bring this random Canadian dude with him everywhere. Not a fucking clue.   
  
“I’m in the middle of something, Sean. Congratulations, I suppose.” But he’s clicking the like off, something nasty and burning hot running under his skin.   
  


  
He doesn’t bother showering, just strips down and falls right into bed. If Danny has a protest, he’s a hundred and ten percent sure that the man would say so. He had no problem telling Sean that he doesn’t want to marry him.   
  
Danny moves around slowly, but kindly keeps the light off and uses his phone’s flashlight. Sean just wants the day to  _ end.  _ He needs to like disappear or fall into a coma at the minimum of one year. Sean doesn’t want to think about tomorrow or the rest of the weekend or Danny flying home, ringless. It stings, just sitting here and waiting for the other shoe to drop.   
  
The box was tossed on the dresser, plain and open to see. There’s no surprise or any tricks. Danny said no so he’s free to check out the fucking ring if it makes him feel better.   
  
“Is that– this is it?” Danny whispers and Sean suspects there’s wonder in his words. He doesn’t need to look up to tell that the man is holding the box and staring at him. Sean can feel the weight of his gaze on his back.   
  
“It was supposed to be.”   
  


  
The next time Sean wakes up, the room is still dark with the blackout curtains and he can smell breakfast. The night comes crashing down, but he dodges it. The morning is not the time to have an essential crisis. He needs a book or maybe a podcast. What To Do After Your Boyfriend Rejects Your Marriage Proposal. Maybe he should go on Wikihow or search through Facebook. Sounds brilliant, maybe after breakfast.   
  
The radio is on Sean’s favorite station. For a second, he just stops and stares, his back leaning against the kitchen door’s frame. Danny is still in his own world, whipping up breakfast like a champ because he is the best. He’s the best at everything and Sean just wants to wife that up, so so bad.   
  
Danny jumps when he turns around, but a crinkled eye smile blooms on his face. It’s like last night didn’t happen and they’re both totally going to ignore it. The man points toward his left.   
  
“Coffee and fruit?” But like, Sean couldn’t care for any of that when he zeros in on the ring on Danny’s finger. He scrunches his nose and glances back at Danny. There’s like a trick here. Maybe some sunlight managed to pour in and created some shining effect. Or maybe the heat from the stove is causing a mirage.   
  
But Sean spots the stupid fucking grin on Danny’s face that’s all telling.   
  
“Oh?” Is all he can say. Sean can’t afford to make the same mistake twice. So he’s glued to his spot, while he stares dumbly at the ring. Yeah, he’s totally reading this wrong.   
  
“Yeah  _ oh _ . My boyfriend kinda sprung this on me and expected me to react like a normal place or something. Rude right?” Danny grins up at him, his left hand reaching out toward him. The ring is on his finger and he’s flushed red and Christ, Sean can no longer breathe. It feels good.   
  
“So like,” Sean licks his lips, his throat suddenly so dry. He’s totally reading this right, like when he steps closer and Danny reaches for his hand. The stupid ring rubs against the palm of his hand as their fingers interlock.   
  
“Yes, Sean I wanna get married. I needed a business day to believe it, man.” And that’s such a Danny thing to say. Of course Danny thinks it’s like a dream come true, while Sean spent the whole night on the very middle of his nightmare.   
  
He nods, still kind of speechless. Now it feels like a dream come true, better than asking him out that first time, getting drafted, buying his apartment, better than every fucking moment of his life. Sean put a ring on it, or something.   
  
”So you’re sure right? Because we can wait.” Sean’s empty hand cups up to hold  his boyfriend- fuck his  _ fiancé’s _ shoulder. He can do get used to this.    
  
Danny rolls his eyes, and the two of them are grinning like the pair of idiots they are. Sean really needs to get some confidence in himself, he totally should have known that Danny would have reacted like this.    
  
“Hey, don’t act so surprised. You knew I was gonna say yes. Eventually.” The two of them laugh, and Sean feels less like he’s going to wake up. Instead, the love overflows and he’s crashing their lips together before he could blink.   
  
It’s fine because Danny’s ready for it now, ready for everything and more that Sean’s giving.     
  


**Author's Note:**

> You know the drill, feel free to drop a kudo or comment! 
> 
> I’m too tired to insert a link but I’m @twopointroux on tumblr if you want to hit up my inbox for any requests! 
> 
> Thanks again for reading :)


End file.
